Category Archives: Dating

A Unified Theory of Happiness

skyThese days, mindfulness — defined by neuroscientist of Harvard University Britta Hölzel as “the non-judgmental awareness of experiences in the present moment” – attracts many people interested in psychological health and happiness. Since Paul McCartney encouraged us to “Let it be”  when our hearts are broken, we know about the importance of acceptance. And surely nobody can escape the “Let it go” songs and books of today’s culture. I think we have pretty much gotten the message: resistance to reality is futile and letting things pass through us is the best we can do for our happiness.However, knowing about something is not the same as being able to do it. Mindfulness is difficult. And as inspiring as it may be to hear from people who can go with the flow and stay emotionally positive no matter what, it can also exert pressure on those who struggle. “Let it go” may sound like “Let it go already!” which is a not-so helpful message of impatience in a stressed-out society. In fact, the pace has picked up so much since Paul McCartney sang that song, we are not going through life anymore; we are running. And so do our minds, a thousand miles a minute. It seems as if our minds are too full to be mindful.

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6 Times Never to Be Friends With Your Ex

It’s one of the biggest clichés of all time: “I want us to still be friends.”

Ex-BoyfriendFrom statements of celebrity splits to impromptu break-up texts, to speeches in front of middle-school lockers, there is a notion in our culture that breakups should be sweet and amicable. It’s often assumed that the best way to end a romantic relationship is to magically embark on a close, happy, friendship — where everyone is thrilled, and both parties smilingly tease each other about his video-game habits or her fondness for vintage brooches.

But does this fantasy ever work out, and is it even wise to try for it? Can you really be friends with someone you dated — even if he knows you better than anyone else? Do any great — or even average — romances ever end by segueing into a strong friendship?

The answer, many times, is no. Sometimes, of course, it can happen — with time. But certain conditions must be met. Here are six signs that should tell you that “Let’s just be friends” may not be your best option (as discussed in detail in The Friendship Fix):

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5 Lies Your Ex-Boyfriends Are Telling You

imgThey say all is fair in love and war. I don’t know about that, but I do know that through both, you need a solid game-plan to get what you want. Make no mistake about it– ex-boyfriends aren’t here to make pals–we’re here to fuck shit up. Below are some things we’ll lie to you about with intent to destroy the emotional foundation of your world.

1. “I’m just checking in to see how you’re doing.”

Really? You’ve gone months without speaking– now all of a sudden we’re interested in finding out how you are? This is typical of a guy who just lost his supply of sex or saw a Facebook photo of you with another dude. This is the first attack in a series that will make up our lengthy campaign of mental warfare. It gives us a reason to get in touch, and makes it seem like we actually care how you’re doing. If you respond– you show your interest in us, and our foot has at least cracked the door we’re looking to barge into.

2. “I just want to be friends.”

This is the oldest, shittiest lie in the book that women fall for every…single…day. Ladies, do you really believe it? Do you honestly think in a guy’s mind he’s saying: “Yeah– that’s what I want! I want the girl I used to have sex with regularly around– just to hang out with! We can be best buds now! I just want her in my life as a dear, dear friend. Please, tell me about the new guy you’re banging!” NO! This is an easy ticket back into your life by getting you to physically hang out with us. Dinner? Drinks? What does it matter? We’re just friends! Yay!

3. “Nobody understands us.”

Hey– guess what, dummy? EVERYBODY understands your messed up relationship. Everyone has an ex, and everyone knows that they’re an ex for a reason. This is just something ex-couples say to rationalize hanging out to everyone asking “What the hell are you doing?!” “…Nobody understands us! We’re so different and unique and special!” Shut up. No you’re not.

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REJECTION. We’ve all been there. And it hurts like hell.

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The surprising way to deal with rejection: how our brains help mend a broken heart

So what are you to do if you’ve been snubbed by a friend? Given the cold shoulder by a colleague? Or worse, find yourself on the sad side of an unrequited love affair?

It turns out help is much closer than you think.

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Sex myths busted

sex mythIt’s true that in the complicated and convoluted world of sex, myths will always abound. But a slew of research has disproved some beliefs, mostly based on long-held, gender-based stereotypes. It seems, contrary to what pop psychology books and magazine covers would have you believe, women are not from Venus, nor are men from Mars. Herein we dispel these and other commonly held sex myths.

1. Men are more interested in casual sex than women

FALSE: Despite what sitcoms since the 1970s would have us believe, men are not all out to spread their seed on endless one-night stands. Professor Terri Conley from the University of Michigan recently reviewed an oft-cited 1989 study which supported the theory that men are more interested in casual sex. In that study researchers trained young men and women to proposition strangers for sex.

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Love & lust: it’s a chemical romance

romantic-love

Centuries after William Shakespeare asked, ‘What is love?’, brain imaging studies are allowing scientists to give at least a partial answer. New studies show love is in the mind – a complex emotion triggered by 12 specific areas of the brain. These areas form the network of love, write Todd Lindeman and Alberto Cuadra.

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Women’s “Not So Secret” Dictionary

This post is actually more for the men. If you are having trouble understanding your lady. This dictionary might help you. I had a good laugh reading this. 😀

Nine Words Women Use

1. Fine:  This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes:  If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

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What do men really want in a partner?

Men as they say are simple species, as long as the basic (primal) needs are met, all is well.  But are they as simple as they sound in looking for a possible mate? Sometimes questions are raised, what do men really want in finding their love interest? As we all know, different folks with different strokes, but let us squeezed the most “liked “qualities of a woman that are usually or majority of guys would agreed upon.

Let’s here it from the real men!

 

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What To Do During An Online Dry Spell

It’s hard being one of millions of people in the online dating world. you not only have to vie to keep the attention of someone online, but you have to basically shake what your mama gave you in pictures just to get noticed in the first place. It’s easy to get discouraged and want to call it a day, but before you do, think of the logics. If you’re going to quit online dating, where does that leave you? Finding a date on the internet is much easier than it is in the real world, and if you give up on one, chances are you’re going to get frustrated and give up on the other as well.

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