Category Archives: Psychology

Why Women In Their 40s Are Usually Most Fulfilled

travelPeople often say that the party ends when you turn 40, especially for the women hitting their menopause at this stage of life. 40 is a number that is usually regarded as a downhill drive for women, in truth, it is not as awful as it is portrayed.

Undoubtedly, menopause is a transition phase in any woman’s life and it surely brings along certain discomforts, such as mood swings, hot flashes and weight gain. But your 40’s are not only about this, there are far more exciting facts this golden year carries within.

1. You’ve become decisive

Living years under the burden of uncertainties and indecisiveness, the time has finally come when you actually know what you want. At this age you develop the courage to step out of the zone where everyone tells you what you should do with your life.

As a woman we all have experienced this within our families, friends, colleagues and spouses, showing us the directions to take in our lives, which is quite suffocating as an individual. It took you forty years to learn that this is your life and you have the right to spend it as you want to. So you simply cherish these smooth sailing years with a clear head and a certain sense of control over your life.

Continue reading

The Pain Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With

LoveLove is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world and, at other times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with.

It’s odd how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil, beautiful and ugly.

It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man has ever claimed to have been part of.

When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love, the kind that is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life.

There is, however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never have.

Continue reading

A Unified Theory of Happiness

skyThese days, mindfulness — defined by neuroscientist of Harvard University Britta Hölzel as “the non-judgmental awareness of experiences in the present moment” – attracts many people interested in psychological health and happiness. Since Paul McCartney encouraged us to “Let it be”  when our hearts are broken, we know about the importance of acceptance. And surely nobody can escape the “Let it go” songs and books of today’s culture. I think we have pretty much gotten the message: resistance to reality is futile and letting things pass through us is the best we can do for our happiness.However, knowing about something is not the same as being able to do it. Mindfulness is difficult. And as inspiring as it may be to hear from people who can go with the flow and stay emotionally positive no matter what, it can also exert pressure on those who struggle. “Let it go” may sound like “Let it go already!” which is a not-so helpful message of impatience in a stressed-out society. In fact, the pace has picked up so much since Paul McCartney sang that song, we are not going through life anymore; we are running. And so do our minds, a thousand miles a minute. It seems as if our minds are too full to be mindful.

Continue reading

6 Times Never to Be Friends With Your Ex

It’s one of the biggest clichés of all time: “I want us to still be friends.”

Ex-BoyfriendFrom statements of celebrity splits to impromptu break-up texts, to speeches in front of middle-school lockers, there is a notion in our culture that breakups should be sweet and amicable. It’s often assumed that the best way to end a romantic relationship is to magically embark on a close, happy, friendship — where everyone is thrilled, and both parties smilingly tease each other about his video-game habits or her fondness for vintage brooches.

But does this fantasy ever work out, and is it even wise to try for it? Can you really be friends with someone you dated — even if he knows you better than anyone else? Do any great — or even average — romances ever end by segueing into a strong friendship?

The answer, many times, is no. Sometimes, of course, it can happen — with time. But certain conditions must be met. Here are six signs that should tell you that “Let’s just be friends” may not be your best option (as discussed in detail in The Friendship Fix):

Continue reading

The Rise of the Female Sociopath

By: Sarah Macdonald

GAME OF THRONES AND GONE GIRL SPOILERS ALERT

Sociopath

Cersei Lannister in ‘Game of Thrones’

I will never appear in a movie. But if I ever find a magic lamp and a genie emerges to grant me wishes, I will soon star in a musical.  My genie will cast me as the crazy, cruel beeatch rather than the sweet girl.

I’d rather shoot castles of ice from my hands as Elsa than sing about snowmen like Ana in Frozen, I’d prefer to shoot flames at the scarecrow than dance over Dorothy’s rainbow and I’d sooner be the murderous narcissistic Stepmother than sweet stupid Snow White.

I’ve grown up both admiring and questioning the female villain.  The crazy, angry, loopy witches and bitches, the cruel stepmothers driven mad by jealousy and ageing, the spurned sad single stalkers turned bunny boilers and ankle breakers, the psycho mothers, the women on the verge or in a nervous breakdown, the ambitious wives who manipulate their husbands to murder.

Claire Underwood-House of Cards

Claire Underwood in House of Cards

But even Lady Macbeth felt remorse.

The new female villainous character in town has none.  She is the sociopath.

Psychopaths and Sociopaths actually don’t exist anymore as a official diagnosis in the US and Australia.  In the new Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for professionals they now come under ‘Antisocial Personality Disorder’. Yet they remain in popular use as interchangeable labels for people who are social predators; those who charm, manipulate and ruthlessly plow their way through life, who lack feelings for others, take what they want, do as they please and have no guilt, regret or remorse.

Successful sociopaths can be very successful in business and finance, while unsuccessful ones end up in jail. Experts point out that female sociopaths are rare and men are seven times more likely to be diagnosed.

Continue reading

Is It Possible That Your Best Friend Become Your Soulmate?

It’s been often said that a best friend is your soulmate. Can a best friend become your soulmate with time?  As friendship is supposed to be the foundation and basis for every kind of lasting relationship in existence. Friendship is a strong kind of feeling and very akin to love without being love. I hope that this makes some sort of sense? Close friends can start out as friends and later become lovers. But even if they don’t become lovers. They’re still destined as true soulmates.

Best friends are without a doubt some of the most special people around for us. But the underlying question is as follows. Can a best friend become your soulmate? The Continue reading

What do men really want in a partner?

Men as they say are simple species, as long as the basic (primal) needs are met, all is well.  But are they as simple as they sound in looking for a possible mate? Sometimes questions are raised, what do men really want in finding their love interest? As we all know, different folks with different strokes, but let us squeezed the most “liked “qualities of a woman that are usually or majority of guys would agreed upon.

Let’s here it from the real men!

 

Continue reading

What To Do During An Online Dry Spell

It’s hard being one of millions of people in the online dating world. you not only have to vie to keep the attention of someone online, but you have to basically shake what your mama gave you in pictures just to get noticed in the first place. It’s easy to get discouraged and want to call it a day, but before you do, think of the logics. If you’re going to quit online dating, where does that leave you? Finding a date on the internet is much easier than it is in the real world, and if you give up on one, chances are you’re going to get frustrated and give up on the other as well.

Continue reading

Analysis Paralysis: How to Eliminate Overthinking and Get More Done

According to Bond (2004) , analysis paralysis involves “putting too much emphasis on the analytical decision-making process to the point where you’re stuck”. You probably recognise the feeling — you have a task to complete, but instead of focusing your full attention on the job at hand, you find yourself obsessing about past mistakes with similar jobs, wondering how you can exceed expectations or worrying about how you might not make your deadline. You have yet to begin the project, but you’re exhausted already from all the ruminating about it!

Continue reading